I first learnt about true healing when I was in my early 20’s. I went through a phase when I was in my late teens where I grappled with depression and basically wanted to end my life. I now understand it was just a part of me calling out to my calling, loudly to my life’s path.
Well how I see it happened is that my soul needing to understand about my journey and I was blocking truly having to look at myself. Why was that? Well when I was around 16 years of age I was triggered by some trauma in my life and I simply didn’t have any of the tools that I needed at the time. I believe though that my higher self was saying I can help you live but first we have to heal from the pain. I guess what I see now is that I wasn’t truly living, I was completely unhappy and I desperately wanted to live an amazing part of myself, that I knew existed, somewhere? But how could I reach her when I felt so far away? All I knew was that I needed to, and the truth is I had to for myself.
So off I went to find my way back to me and when I was in my early 20’s I met a beautiful healer and she helped me find peace, it was the beginning of me truly come back to life. It was the beginning of knowing in the future how to find that direct path that leads to the truth of me.
How do you find the truth when you can’t see?
When I was in my early 20’s I had my first-born daughter who I adored, I loved being her mum. When I sat before our family doctor one day crying because I didn’t understand what was happening to me he confessed that he thought I was an amazing mother and he was in awe of me. And now I reflect back I probably was doing pretty amazing, for 20-year-old mum but I fell into a deep depression. They called it postnatal depression.
And I want to reassure all of you…
That if any of this has happened to you or even if just for today you are doubting your worth. You are amazing because you are you, and if your a mumma then your pretty amazing at that too. So back to the sharing because that’s what we are here to do.
Postnatal depression wow you may say?
Yep that was the label that they gave me and at that point I was prescribed some medication and sent off to get on with my family and my life.
When I didn’t get over the depression my soul began yelling out to me. I found life started to lead me to seeking with curiosity, how can I help myself feel better?
I ended up going to a meditation group one day with all these older women and that then lead me down the path of healing and then my life really started to change. What I honestly feel in my heart that I didn’t need was medication. I didn’t need to shut down all my feelings and my intuition, what I truly needed was to heal.
And I get it sometimes people may need that kind of medical intervention and at times it may be what they truly need. However I can only speak for myself and what happened for me.
When I started my healing journey I began to find peace within my life and I started to address my core feelings around the absence of my father and the trauma from my teens. I finally wasn’t numb anymore and I found a place to start coming home to me.
And you know what I realized?
Was that all through my whole life someone has always appeared to help guide me and bring me to a place of healing and being at home in me.
And I believe we can all have that when we open ourselves and our awareness up to something greater than us. This creates new possibilities that can open us up to a new pathway for some kind of magic to happen.
Then one day it all began to start making sense, it lead me down the path of studying counseling which brought me to understanding the body and guided me to want a deeper understanding of the human psyche and the soul.
You see all of life’s experiences on our journey actually help us become the men and women we are today. It eventually does all come full circle. I can honestly say I feel so blessed that each soul who sits before me has been a version of me at some point and in someway.
I believe that we can truly understand other people’s pain related through direct life experience. Depression, grief and anxiety have touched the depth of my path too.
What I learnt was to see into the dark and pave a new path of my hearts desires and the best news is that I now help others to do this too! What if maybe your pain is the greatest gift of your soul calling, calling to you?
Wishes Katie x
